This is what happens when you decide to get a good breakfast at the Greenhouse and then, after what seems like a whole day, night and afternoon of drinking, end up at the (literal) ass end of St Kilda in backpacker hell with something you can't swallow.
Egg and Soldiers. Or as the menu describes, "Freerange 'Green Eggs' Soft-boiled served with Baker D.Chorico 'Soldier' toast." $7.50
The only problem with this was that the eggs were hard boiled. Came with veg-seasoning organic salt. Unnecessary, but still good. Also, with the eggs, can you say 'same supplier as Vue?' Thanks, Shannon.
Tuna Niscoise roll. $8. Also on Baker D.Chorico bread. Very good, raw green beans sliced throughout really did it for me.
Avocado with Lemon, oil and Murray River salt flakes. $8
Very well toasted bread. I was really craving avocado, but when I went to order, the staff said that the avocados were too ripe, and when asked to pick on that wasn't too ripe, they were happy to oblige.
They also sliced the bottom off a cheek so it could sit on the board. Clever bastards.
Oh yes, wooden cutlery, like Cafe Vue. Ahem.
The aftermath. Notice the 4 coffees and the pineapple juice in an Aesop bottle. $3.50, freshly squeezed.
Now, St Kilda Hell-town. I think that was the name of the place.
What the hell is this? Mushroom with your oil?
Two forks to demonstrate this. They were not cooked and made me want to die. Also, sauted spinach was crunchy.
Oh yes, I mentioned...CUP-O-SAUCE?!?!?!?!?!
I am not quite sure how you make canned beans coagulate.
Also, I saw a table of (obvious) foreigners who lathered their scrambled eggs with tomato sauce and asked for baked beans on fries. Their meat-breakfast also came with fries...I mean, what the?
I should have known better, but really, desperation and a night of booze does evil things to the mind.
And, finally, the only thing that made anything bearable on the table.
I would like to say that if there is anything I learnt from being in New York is that when you're eating crap food, and the produce is shit, you can always cover the taste with condiments.
Oh yes, I blame what is on the left and right of me, and also in my hand for the above. (How's that for the use of prepositions?)