The perfect pain

is when you're writhing in disgusting nausea from the night before, unable to contemplate solids and getting text messages from your housemate who is directly above you, doing the exact same thing.
You crawl upstairs because he's fucked his knee up from throwing crates in a laneway and high-fiving a "mong" in a convenience store after cutting it open. You're both sobbing for your bodies, and decide that the only way to fix this is beer.
Twenty of them, in fact. Between the both of you.
Every second word out of his mouth is doll.
At around 10:30, you both decide it's time for food.
Actually, when you went to pee, he ate mouldy bread in desperation.

Doll food.
serves 4

4 spicy Italian pork sausages, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 onion, diced
2 cloves of garlic, diced
1 eggplant, diced
chili flakes
salt
pepper
splash of white wine
balsamic vinegar
2 cans of peeled tomatoes
1 handful of basil, torn
bocconcini, torn
Spaghetti

In a hot pan, fry off the sausages till brown. Turn the heat down to medium and add the onions and garlic, seasoning with salt and pepper. Add a little oil and throw in the eggplant, soften. Add the chili flakes and season again. After about 5 minutes, add the wine and a few tablespoons of balsamic. Cook off for a few minutes. Add the cans of tomatoes, crushing them with a wooden spoon. Bring the sauce to the boil, and then turn it down to simmer for the amount of time it takes to drink 2-3 beers, or till it looks thick.
When you're about 10 minutes from the sauce looking ready, or, the second last beer of the night, cook the pasta and then drain. Add to the sauce with the bocconcini and the basil.
Try to keep it down.
Most importantly, feed your doll of a housemate while sucking beers down on a kitchen bench.