Retract Like Stanley Knives!

Well, it appears my stupidly intelligent friends are not so intelligent. The emails sent through in the previous post were not just send to the Stuffings of the Greyhound, but to the people at TiNA.

So, they are under the impression that some artists (such as Glen from The Suitcase Royale) are dead. Or we're all being little shits with them, or, we are all assholes. On top of that, one of the boys behind this act of stupidity decided to impersonate Dario, signing off at "D" and dragging him into the mess. Another stupid thing is that the mailing list wasn't hidden, and now the festival people think everyone involved in this delayed exercise is a tossbag.

tsk tsk.

so...after much yelling, confrontation and shame, this is what one of the boys have to say on behalf of their drunken actions.

"To all recipients of yesterday's emails concerning the omnipresent Bus.


Firstly I must issue my sincere apologies for the hurt which has been caused by our ill-thought words. As part of the collective organising this venture, I necessarily made an unspoken commitment to collective participation in all parts of the project, open communication and trust in the good faith of those involved. I disregarded these things this afternoon in a misdirected effort to create some sort of laughing stock out of our hard work, particularly as, had I bothered to check with other members of our collective first, they almost certainly would not have endorsed the use of their names or their work in this way. Although my intention was to provide some form of comic relief to the flatness of a temporarily sidelined adventure, it seems obvious at this point that my judgment was clouded by a lack of sleep and alcohol – the twin terrors of organising.


Secondly I wish here to directly clarify the misinformation that was released this afternoon. The bus did not crash, both Henry and Glen are very much alive, and Dario has most certainly not gone to Tahiti. As per previous communications we all worked ceaselessly for the past few weeks to get this thing up and running. When it unfortunately fell through at the last moment, it was the product of unfortunate circumstances and not enough time. Any suggestion that the temporary halt to this trip was caused by mismanagement or incompetence should be strongly discouraged. I am ashamed that this was the suggestion that came out in our half-baked attempt at myth-making.


Here it should also be noted that there was no broader consent given to the writing or sending of these emails, and that the message signed with “D” was not a genuine response to the initial release from Dario. Once again I apologise for blatantly disregarding other people’s reputations in this matter.


As a result I intend to here tender my early resignation from all positions of social importance. From now on I am to become an ascetic hermit, retreat to a monastery and cut off my balls.


Sincerely yours,

(ex) Wing Commander Jones.

28.09.08"