Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I ate weird shit

and it upset me.

Generally there is a sense of nostalgia when I eat crappy over-packaged/manufactured/processed shit from Asia. I feel very guilty and like I will not decompose until we reach the next millenia, but nostalgic.

Today, I encountered freeze dried fruits. I have had this in the novelty form of "Space food" before, but I couldn't remember it, so I thought that it couldn't have possibly been bad. This girl had pineapple, "Asian pear", strawberry and apple all sprawled out on her desk...and I, a bag of pretzels.

I offered her some pretzels and her face screwed up, like I just fed her sand from the beach.

Sorry, never again.

In exchange, she made me try every flavour in front of her.

In my experience of other cultures and being pushed and prodded at for my exchange through Rotary, I am well aware that things are different, not "weird" or "shit." However, this was weird shit.

Weird, dry, traumatizing shit. (Sorry, I have to be honest here.)

My tongue petrified and I am pretty sure she just slipped me seasoned cardboard, thinking that she'd get me back for my white-man treats. These "Brothers-All-Natural" snacks, which apparently mother nature would eat (I am pretty sure that mother nature eats everything in her path and isn't a picky bitch about it) is not luscious, as it claims to be, but fucking frightening.

She says she got them from Laguna, the Asian supermarket at the back/front/side/upstairs (who knows, this post-modern architecture hurts me) of QV, but with closer inspection...they're actually from NY. It figures.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I have had about three and a half bottles of water, and my tongue is still suffering wake-time nightmares.

Can you tell I'm procrastinating from working?

Oh yeah, don't eat this shit. (Image stolen from the Brothers All Natural website.)

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