When with sister,

two desserts.

You should always remember that equation. So, after my coin stacking incident, I also had to factor in enough for a Zone 1+2 2hr concession. Yeah, outrageous. This is for a train ticket to Mitcham.

I would like to now say I FUCKING HATE PUBLIC TRANSPORT. I guess I can rationalize living so close to the city because my rent more than makes up for all the public transport I would be catching otherwise.

But yesterday was heinous. I changed trains three times for the same line from Melbourne Central, going back and forth from Flinders and Richmond, only to finally leave the loop thirty minutes later.

It is an OUTRAGE: Tony Harrison style.

I would now like to say that my sister's eating habits are totally different from mine, and with my life going the way it is right now, I thrive on small victories. I managed to get her and her husband to eat an entirely vegetarian meal, despite that it definitely isn't the healthiest. But I figure she can afford it when I am cooking and she goes to kickboxing.

My sister also started a Hospitality course a couple of weeks ago, which is the exact same one I did when I was 14/15 and hearing her stories of people burning pasta into the bottom of pots and taking 30 minutes to fillet a fish makes me all nostalgic. Only, she is doing it at Box Hill Tafe, and therefore is doing it with the Fifteen crew and everything is Jamie Oliver (Tefal) branded.

They are also burnt the shit out of.

Me making baked, herbed mushrooms. Later served on the only bread she had in the house with caramelized onions and blue cheese. She hates blue cheese, so...relish.

I made really sad felafels with canned chickpeas. Spiced with cumin, fennel and caraway seeds found in her pantry, heated in a pan till fragrant with black pepper and ground it in a mortar and pestle. Threw in a chili, parsley and mint as well as some stale bread.

Wizz wizz wizz.
Fry Fry Fry.

Oh yeah, I also did this because I wanted to see her beloved deep fryer in action. Her husband got it for her last Valentines and they spent the night making fish and chips together.

The most unphotogenic mushroom ever.

Dishy, dishy, dishy. They weren't greasy at all. Go team deep fryer.

Oh, and I also made a Tzatziki to serve with.

She really also wanted to make a mud cake with me. So, this is the naked boy. Erm, we over baked it by about fifteen minutes because we were walking her dog.

Look. I put clothes on him.
And the blur of my sister in the background.

Then, we gave the boy an enema, or...a colonic irrigation.

You get it. It was tasty, but sadly the sides were overcooked. Stupidly dense and moist.

But before we ate the cake, she wanted a different dessert. I caramelized peeled and cored apples in a pan, made a cake batter and baked the bitches in the oven. Her husband doesn't like cakey things, but he ate this madly...

with cream.

Is it a wonder that I missed the last train home and spent the night on the smallest couch in the world, watching bad TV, crunching sleeping tablets, switching to season two of Twin Peaks and then flicking cockroaches off myself till I finally passed out at half five in the morning?

Only to reawake at half six...


I'm tired.
And I have 3 parties to go to. See you on the flipside.