After the dumpling madness

Remember this?

Well, in the remnants, before I went to the gym, I fed the kids.

It was really tasty and unfortunately, I couldn't eat it. This is because if I eat before going to the gym, I usually find myself either incredibly nauseous or I throw up at some stage when I stop moving.

Really, it's disgusting.

Fried rice noodles with Chinese broccoli
(Technically serves 2)

1/2 packet of dried rice stick noodles, rehydrated in cold water and set aside
1 handful of black fungus, cut in strips, rehydrated in boiling water, water reserved

2 slices of ginger
1 bunch of Chinese broccoli, sectioned
1 1/2 teaspoons of XO sauce
1 teaspoon of oyster sauce
1 teaspoon of chili oil (pictured on table)
1/2 teaspoon of soy sauce

2 spring onions, finely sliced.

Add some oil to a hot wok and add the ginger till it starts bubbling, add the chinese broccoli and stir fry for a minute with a bit of salt. Add the noodles and mushroom at this stage, tossing continuously. Add the mushroom water to soften the noodles along with the sauces.
When it is cooked and the noodles have softened, serve with the spring onions as a garnish along with extra chili. Feel free to add a squeeze of lemon/lime juice. It strangely made sense.

When Friends are good to you.

Last week saw desperation at the hand of myself and DaVa.

It seemed that neither of us had access to our accounts or our cash and had twenty dollars to our names for two days. Just to be clear, that was twenty dollars collectively.

I was feeling a little weary and defeated by technology, and DaVa was left confused. So, as I sat at the computer and sighed, he went off to the local Safeway to scrounge something to cook for the both of us because for the first time ever, I really didn't want to set foot in the kitchen. Of course, my anxiety peaked as I let someone loose in my kitchen where my obvious systems with how I shelve, store, pack, use and wash things showed how obsessive compulsive I was (and still am). Of course he giggled, and then at some stage, admitted that I was a mad bitch, but it was all in the name of Napoli.

So, this is what the boy conjured after the guy at Safeway took pity on him and our coins and let him walk free with cash to spare.

Oh, and we noted that the quality of sausage obviously makes or breaks this.

Fennel Sausages in Napoli with a Broccoli Something-Something.

olive oil
1 tin of tomatoes
3 cloves of garlic, diced
3 fennel sausages

pasta, cooked and drained

broccoli, boiled in heavily salted water

Make the napoli by reducing the tomatoes over a low heat with the olive oil after sauteing off the garlic for 30 minutes.
When this is done, swirl half of the napoli with the pasta so it doesn't stick together.
Fry off the sausages and add to the remaining napoli.
After the broccoli is cooked, dice and fry off with a clove of diced garlic and oil.
Assemble by dividing the pasta, adding the sausage and napoli over the top and serve with the broccoli on the side and mix in with the dish at to your own taste.

Wesley Anne in the afternoon is so wrong.

Well, last Friday, after cooking and rehearsing I ran to the Wesley Anne in Northcote for a few beers while my friend and I shared a plate of dips and she ate the beef and Guinness pie with mash and peas.

Unfortunately, it was too nice a day and the only guy working (to be fair, it was three in the afternoon) took ten minutes to notice us at the bar.

Generally, I like the food here, but there was something incredibly wrong this time. The bread was stale and not heated through for the dips. The token rocket was wilted and we preferred to just give up. The range was hummus, beetroot and a carrot and almond dip.

My friend, who had been awake since four in the morning, working for the breakfast news who usually demoishes everything in sight had to leave the peas as they somehow burnt frozen ones. It was just confusing.

So, we decided to make some art.

Dip face, and soon to be pea mountain with a cap of snow.

Fortunately, after this we cleaned it up for them...you know, cos we're nice.

Excuse me

but I have been attempting some sort of self improvement, and I don't mean in the masturbation way of my good friend, Chuck P.

I have been spending too many hours at the gym and then guzzling the calories back in alcomahol in the evening while cooking for the crew who rehearse in the eve.

Sure, I have been to the markets several times this week and carried food back in hiking bags, but it doesn't mean I have to write an essay about it.


I will spare you my bitching, but this is really just an update to say that I will update when I get some fucking time to myself.

Also, I hate people posting pictures of their cats/dogs/fish/non-edible animal of stupid affection on their food blogs.

It's like when someone says that their child is gifted and need some special attention. Yeah, I get it, you didn't spawn something that is going to take a shit in its pants after it's crawled out two years down the track, or in the case of the animal, knows the specified area to shit.

I forget where I am going...it's been a long week.

Just a quickie.

In my madness, anxiety and caffeine I make something that is going to calm me down.

Nothing fancy, but as described, a "flavour bomb" and reminded my dining companion of the chickpeas at the Moroccan Soup Bar (I don't know how).



Tasty nice-calm

1 can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
2 cloves of garlic, diced
1 leek, finely sliced
1 medium zucchini, diced (I used one of the round ones I picked up from the Slow Food market)
2 tomatoes, diced
Zest of a whole lemon, and juice from half
Olive tapanade (from the Nicola crew, slightly citrusy)
chili flakes
salt
pepper
yogurt to serve

Heat a pan on high and fry off the chickpeas with one of the cloves of garlic until brown and crispy on the outside. Remove from pan and set aside. Then, on high heat, fry off the leek, zucchini, tomato and lemon zest, seasoning with the chili flakes, salt and pepper. When done, add the lemon juice and serve with a dollop of yogurt over the top.

We're moving on out.

So, it's true. Everyone is moving on and away and people are finally past the rush of the holidays, the season of happy, the illusion of calm. As these guys were packing up the tree in the city square ('bout fucking time, it's been up since October) there was also a ute filled with red balls and my phone started ringing.
It is my first week off work in two and a half years, officially, and I get told that because of the recession, all the temps in the building are being let go. No, I believe they said that no temp contracts were being renewed in our sector.

Awesome.


Right after our shitty fucking housemate ran out on us and we had to cover his rent...


and bills.

My first thought was how much cheese I would sacrifice...seriously.

But, that is what I get for working in a bank. My soul is tainted. Technically I should be fine, and I have been wanting to leave since I started, but alas, bills must be paid and I just can't be bothered finding another job...and a housemate at the same time.

So, my soul is soothed with a French woman and Greenhouse.

She got the broccoli, zucchini and feta quiche.

I attempted to get through this fior di latte, fennel, tomato and capsicum roll. Just what I needed, it was just too much.

And I guzzled three burnt short blacks in my anxious state and decided it would be better to head somewhere with oomph.












God, I can't believe I just said oomph*. Shoot me.
Anyways, I am reading Dave Eggers (latest) collection of short stories while sucking down a very-strong-and-not-that-burnt-but-kind-of-dirty short black. (Say that like Jungle Julia off Death Proof.)

And how do I feel?









Caffinated.



*(Oomph, read: Pushka.)

It's dumpling town.

You know when it's a Saturday and you wake up with the need to make dumplings and some other person makes an executive decision to have a nice, random number of nine people around that you're going to be folding a hundred dumplings in the afternoon after being a human food processor.

That may be a slight exaggeration.

You may also notice that the photos get blurrier and blurrier as we drink more and more. We made Negronis in jugs, drank beers by slabs, vodka from the bottle and suckled on the lips of sparkling white wine bottles.

And then, a charming little Christobel had alcohol poisoning.

Dumplings and shit
makes 100

400g pork mince
400g chicken mince
300g prawns, deveined and roughly chopped
2 handfuls black fungus, shredded and hydrated in boiling water
6 shitake mushrooms rehydrated in boiling water and diced (reserve water)
1 can of water chestnuts, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
ginger, finely diced, to taste
6 spring onions, finely diced
soy sauce
white pepper
salt
sugar
sesame oil
2 egg whites
cornflour
2 packets of wonton skins

Mix together all the ingredients except for the cornflour and won ton skins. Make a dish with cornflour and water and wrap in the skins, using the cornflour mixture to seal.

For Soup

water from the rehydrated mushrooms
salt
white pepper
soy
oyster sauce
sugar
sesame oil
5 slices of ginger
3 litres of water
sliced spring onions
spinach
baby bok choi
gai larn

fresh egg noodles or flat rice noodles

Boil the mushroom water and adjust seasoning to taste with the extra 3 litres of water and ginger. When ready to serve, cook off the noodles, the vegetables and plate up with garnishes (I made chive omelets and crisped up won ton skins and crushed them over the top for texture) .

This is everything that goes in the dumperin' in a bowl ready to be mixed up. I tested it for seasoning by frying off a tablespoon and trying it.

Getting ready to wrap. the wet tea towel to cover the skins so they don't dry out. A bowl of cornflour mixed with cold water to use as "glue" to keep the skins together.

A folded plate. We had to clear out the fridge and freezer to keep these suckers ready for cooking.

The dumplings in the container are those getting ready to be fried. And, the prepped vegies.

And a different angle, just because I can't be bothered editing what is here.

I made chive omlettes, rolled them up and sliced them for garnish.



Me on the phone while plating up the first round of fried-s. "Yeah, no, really, up the back staircase and get some booze. No, lots of booze."
Fry one side in a pan with ginger, flip when it looks crispy, add water, cover with the lid and steam for a minute.

Plating up the dumpling noodle soup.

My trusty camera-man...kind of drunk by this time. I really like how we had 3 different kinds of chili to eat with. Of course, there is now none left.
I cooked off the noodles in one pot, the vegetables in the other and the won tons in another separate pot. I kept the soup hot in another pot and just added them all together at the end, building it up and finishing it with the garnishes. Booyah!


And at the very end, this man is wearing my dress. Yes, it is just as see-through on me and um...guess what I am wearing?