What is wrong with me?

Don't answer that question.

Remember when it was stupid-hot on Thursday?

The sun-set looked like this.
Well, I went to the Corner to see Elbow.
If you don't know me, then you probably don't know that I love Elbow.
Like...this much.

See?

And I have a strange relationship to the Corner.
And running around in closed venues trying to find exits with Elbow...

but...

After not being there for a year and a half, I found myself there only 48 hours later...less...to see Vulgargrad play. Renren is the percussionist.
And that dude with the wavy arms is Jacek...also known as the Narcoleptic dude from Moulin Rouge...

or the brother of Tomek of THE BUS incident.

Anyways...no Corner Hotel for a while.

I made hippy food and I didn't even know it.

And that upset me.

I scrounged around for food-stuffs in a very lacking home and found some quinoa left from a meal I made a while back there. And it wasn't infested with weevlis. Meh, it was good.
And gluten free.
And egg free.
And vegetarian.

I know...it's horrendous.
I can't even make some sarcastic title about it to make myself feel better. Don't worry, I bathe and use bleached paper when printing assignments.

Quinoa Fritters.
Makes 20-ish.

2 handfuls of white quinoa
2 cloves of garlic, sliced
salt
pepper
1/2 a market bag of baby spinach, washed
1/2 bunch of parsley, finely chopped.
1 medium sized eggplant
2 handfuls of grated parmesan
1-2 handfuls of mungbean sprouts
cashew butter, or a few handfuls of cashews pounded into butter with a mortar and pestle

Cook the quinoa with twice the amount of water as there is quinoa for 15-20 minutes with the sliced garlic. Season with salt and pepper. Meanwhile, grill the eggplant, peel and set aside.
When the quinoa is cooked, add the spinach and parsley and stir till wilted, throw in the parmesan and mungbean sprouts and stir. Add the eggplant while warm with a few tablespoons of cashew butter, to taste. Season with salt and pepper.

You'll have a weird looking mixture like this.
Gross...innit?

Now, heat a skillet on a high heat and fry off the fritters in tablespoons. Make sure the pan is really hot, or they will stick to the pan. You'll need to do them for about 3 minutes on each side. And no, if they stick, it doesn't mean you need more oil, it just means your pan needs to be hotter. Don't be afraid.
Or, alternatively, you could deep fry these fuckers.
But, I didn't...your choice.


Serve with a wedge of lemon.

Yo, Cindy, it's your birthday.

It was my sister's birthday on Saturday.
On Friday we had a crazy family dinner.

Pretty self-explanatory. Chinese family...lots of food, every animal under the sun. Go team parents for cooking this all in only a couple of hours.

The Quack-quack is from Footscray.

Beef, broccoli...pretty easy to translate.

Steamed fish with spring onion, ginger and light soy. Hot oil over the top to bring it all out.

Fuck yes.

Fresh calamari cooked in prawn paste with spinach.
Yes, even hidden animals in the animals.

And I think I will always have a leaning toward vegetarian Chinese fare. These shittake mushrooms were brought back from Japan and had amazing bite. Served with steamed and sauted lettuce. My favourite.

I kind of left feeling a little sick and coma-like. I don't usually eat this much meat.

Nap time.

The sick files.

Condiment (avocado, thinly sliced red onion, a slice of turkey in this one, spinach, tobasco, dijon) half-sandwich, Lemsip capsules and Echinecea. What a wonderful diet. 3 days.

Note the shit bread. Not enough energy to walk to the market...IGA bread. *Sob*

Oh, and tea, lots of green tea...

Despite

having got up this morning and gone to the gym and the market, I am wrecked. My partying has finally caught up to me and I am in a momentous amount of pain.
Oh, and I threw up a few times.

So, ambitiously, I made this to bring to my friend's birthday of food and drinks and sadly, I can't move. And I think if I have thrown up, other people should probably not be exposed to this. Even though it is a really good salad.

*Sad face*

Excuse the shitter than usual photo, I kind of didn't care by the time I finished and this is the strange lighting we have in the house in the late afternoon.

Don't eat this unless you want to contract the plague in your brains.
Um, but feel free to make it.

1/2 pumpkin, cleaned, skin still on, diced
1 red onion, halved and sliced
1 stalk of rosemary, stolen from the neighbour's front garden
sage, torn
2 cloves of garlic, diced
salt
pepper
salt
oil

1 handful of hazlenuts
half that of walnuts
A few big handfuls of baby spinach leaves

1/2 a block of feta (don't ask me what type, I just stood at the counter asking the person at the counter at the market until I liked one...I know, irresponsible blogging), diced

Dijon mustard, the dregs in the bottom of the jar (probably 2 teaspoons)
Extra virgin olive oil (a few glugs)
salt
pepper
juice of 1 small lemon
honey (to taste)

Preheat the oven to 200 and combine the pumpkin, onion, salt, pepper, sage, rosemary, garlic, salt and pepper and oil and place on a baking tray. Bake for 20-30 minutes.
In the last 10 minutes, throw in the nuts.
Meanwhile, whisk together the mustard, oil, salt, pepper, lemon juice and honey until you have a dressing balanced to your liking.
Crush the nuts.
In a large salad bowl, throw in your spinach leaves and the cooked pumpkin and etc. Stir to wilt the leaves a little. Mix in the nuts and the feta and dress with the dressing so that it is coated, but not leaving a pool a the bottom.
Serve with crusty bread and apologise to your chicken friend.

My lover is chargrilled.

Actually, that is just her name.

I came home from the gym, and in my mailbox, I found this.

Ok, well, it's just plain Chargrill. She's also known as Char, Charizard...Phil and I once built a "Yum Char" when she couldn't come with us.
Yes...we are children.


And just to drive that point home...

Honey Joys.
My Chargrill put Honey Joys in my mailbox.
*swoon*
I also swoon because I have never made them before in my life.

I also may or may not have eaten (almost all of) them while reading one short story from Nam Le's The Boat.

The perfect pain

is when you're writhing in disgusting nausea from the night before, unable to contemplate solids and getting text messages from your housemate who is directly above you, doing the exact same thing.
You crawl upstairs because he's fucked his knee up from throwing crates in a laneway and high-fiving a "mong" in a convenience store after cutting it open. You're both sobbing for your bodies, and decide that the only way to fix this is beer.
Twenty of them, in fact. Between the both of you.
Every second word out of his mouth is doll.
At around 10:30, you both decide it's time for food.
Actually, when you went to pee, he ate mouldy bread in desperation.

Doll food.
serves 4

4 spicy Italian pork sausages, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 onion, diced
2 cloves of garlic, diced
1 eggplant, diced
chili flakes
salt
pepper
splash of white wine
balsamic vinegar
2 cans of peeled tomatoes
1 handful of basil, torn
bocconcini, torn
Spaghetti

In a hot pan, fry off the sausages till brown. Turn the heat down to medium and add the onions and garlic, seasoning with salt and pepper. Add a little oil and throw in the eggplant, soften. Add the chili flakes and season again. After about 5 minutes, add the wine and a few tablespoons of balsamic. Cook off for a few minutes. Add the cans of tomatoes, crushing them with a wooden spoon. Bring the sauce to the boil, and then turn it down to simmer for the amount of time it takes to drink 2-3 beers, or till it looks thick.
When you're about 10 minutes from the sauce looking ready, or, the second last beer of the night, cook the pasta and then drain. Add to the sauce with the bocconcini and the basil.
Try to keep it down.
Most importantly, feed your doll of a housemate while sucking beers down on a kitchen bench.