She did what?

Yeah, totally got take out.

Everything tasted metallic, and by everything I meant water, because I took a few sleeping tablets last night.

I finally regained my ability to taste at 5pm, but I was too tired to cook.

There is this place called Nasi Lemak House on Grattan st, between Cardigan and Lygon. They're good, and constantly packed with slant eyes.

Anyways, even though this is my breakfast, lunch and dinner....buncher, lunchfaster, linnerfast...I could only eat half of it.

It is very good.

Nasi Lemak Sambal Prawns $13.60
Sambal prawns with ican bilis, roasted peanuts, cucumber and a fried egg.

The only complaint is that the fried eggs sit under the bain marie instead of being cooked to order, like the prawns, and have a firm yolk.

Who cares, it's Sunday.

Sucks to be you at Merideth, hey?

At risk of sounding like a weather report, before 9am today, we have had the most rain since February '06. Then, there is the rest of the day up until now.
I was wandering around the city on Thursday afternoon, along Elizabeth street and everyone had a pair of gumboots with them. I obviously had not put two and two together and checked the weather.
But, I am also not one for Merideth. To everyone who has asked me why, I will say it once again.

I hate nature, and nature hates me.

Apparently, by Friday morning, gumboots were sold out around Melbourne.
To that, I think a record has been set and everyone would be wearing the same footwear. It's like boot-camp without the boots, so to speak.

Funnily enough, this morning, nay, afternoon, my friend made baked eggs while I made a vegetable and lentil soup. I didn't get around to eating the soup since I had to run home, but for a change of pace, I made a stew instead.

I am sufficiently sated and full of gluten.

Mushroom and barley stew
Makes a fuckload

100g pancetta, diced
200g mixed mushrooms, sliced
1 onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, diced
1 leek, finely sliced
2 ribs of celery, diced
4 stalks of silverbeet, ribs diced and leaves sliced
2 fresh tomatoes, diced
1 large zucchini, diced
2 cups of barley
red wine
balsamic vinegar
vegetable stock

polenta
vegetable stock
parmesan


Totally prep-bowl heaven.

Saute off the diced pancetta with the mushrooms, season and set aside.
Sweat off the onion, garlic, silverbeet ribs, leek and celery and season.



Then, add the tomatoes and zucchini and turn up the heat.




When everything is done, return the mushrooms and pancetta to the pan and add the barley. Turn the heat on high and add a generous glug of red wine, a glug of balsamic and enough stock to cover.



Make a cartouche, cover with a lid and allow to simmer for about 40 minutes. Stir in the silverbeet leaves in the last two minutes and season to taste.
Make the polenta by whisking the polenta into boiling vegetable stock for 20-30 minutes, making it dryer or as wet as you want. Season with black pepper and add some parmesan to taste.




Serve the stew on top of the polenta with freshly grated parmesan and herbs if you have any.

Homestyle therapy.

When life kicks you up the arse, it is best to bake. I think, I learnt patience and upped my zen by baking. I think this is my fourth night in a row with only a couple of hours sleep, and I have officially run out of sleeping tablets.
And, after working at the gallery yesterday and going to the night market against my body, I had to take the day off. I am convinced that I have an eye infection as I can't stop crying out of one of them so, it makes it hard to read.

I had intended to bake these and go to the SHAC free-free exchange, gathering thing today, but then I realised that I am not into uni life. I hate mingling with uni people and I would rather swallow glass while being lit on fire and defecated on at the same time.

When a poster says to bring something to exchange or a skill or a haircut, I can only imagine the majority of upper-middle class spawn documenting their beginnings of rebellion, hoping it will make it to the news for their parents to see. I can see a sea of green, blue and pink hair, as if a dairy product had gone off in the fridge, swarming through the length of Faraday St. Then, after they dissipate, the remaining few, who probably organised it and are too hungry to cook, will end up going to Threshermans for those awful baked goods and pub food, without the pub.



Savoury polenta muffins to mend what a leotard cannot
Makes 12
6 slices of prosciutto, diced (optional)
1 finely diced onion
1 large handful of decent olives pitted and diced
1 fresh tomato, diced
kernels from 1 cob of corn
1/2 barrel of La Luna Goats cheese, diced
150g plain flour
150g polenta
1 tbs caster sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 large eggs
250 mL milk (I used soy, so it made the batter sweeter. If using moo, add more sugar)

Preheat a fan forced oven to 190 degrees.
Saute off the prosciutto if using, and transfer to paper towel. Sweat off the onion in the prosciutto fat or rice bran oil and set aside.
Mix the flour, polenta, sugar, baking powder and salt together in a large bowl.
Whisk the eggs and milk together.
Add the egg mixture to the flours and stir, halfway through, adding the other ingredients.
Divide into a 12-hole greased muffin pan and bake for 20 minutes or till it tests done.
Serve with a chili and tomato chutney.

Brilliant!

(I assume if they're organic, they're also free-range. A little redundant here, hey?)

So, I was talking with one of the girls at the gallery today about her breakfast.

Girl: Oh, I had eggs with hollandaise on toast. Pity they gave me crappy white bread.
Me: I haven't eaten yet. You've made me hungry.
Girl: I love hollandaise on eggs.
Me: I know, eggs on eggs. Who would have thought that would go together? BRILLIANT!
Girl: You're a smart-arse, aren't you?

*blink*


[silence]


*nod*

I've already given you a hollandaise recipe, but here it is again.

3 egg yolks
Juice from half a lemon
150g melted butter
salt
pepper

Whisk the yolks over a double boiler and add the lemon juice till it is all nice and pale. Add the butter, keep whisking and season with salt and pepper. If it looks too thick, add a few teaspoons of water to thin it down.
Serve immediately.


I love how the chicken shit and feather are still stuck to the egg. Hell yes!

My sister totally rocks.

'nuff said.



But in all seriousness, they use the ribs or shoulders.

A few random things.

My parents just got back from HK and China and decided to bring back a few things.


Firstly, I love this stuff. If I were not so reflux-y or conscious about fitting into single-digit sized clothing, then I could probably eat around ten of these in one go. It is a glutinous rice ball filled with red bean and coated in coconut. Kind of like the Cantonese interpretation of mochi, but they are less sweet and solid.
*swoon*


I am not sure why my parents bought me so much candy, I don't like sweets. But, this is a bag of soft candies made with rice flour, nuts and lotus seed paste. Somehow, I don't think I will have much self control around these.


And, they made a trip to China and came back with this. It's Chinese fairy floss. I am not sure what it is like as I have never had it before, but it is very solid. VERY solid. The concept of fairy floss scares me though, I know it is just coloured sugar, but think about it. Floss. Floss covered in fairy teeth-cheese.


Of course I save the best till last. Now, who has had a mother not buy them underwear before? Now, I am not sure what makes HK underwear so much better, but she insisted. Funnily enough, I think the last time she bought me underwear, I was in primary school.
However, there is a slight problem here.
1- they are grey
2- they are HUGE
See how I have compared them to a fat pair of my underpants (you know, for the winter-time when you get that layer going)and they still dwarf them. They're a size 8. So, that means that the ones my mother bought are probably the equivalent to a 14.
Why the hell she thinks my ass is that big, I will never know. But, it is the thought that counts. Although, I am slightly disappointed that they're not from Japan...



And, completely unrelated. I went to the market this morning and after laughing with a friend's friend at an Oxfam table, taking photos of puppies with shoes on (yes, that is plural, 2 dogs, 8 feet, 8 tiny, tiny shoes), I bought some truss tomatoes. When I got home, I unloaded my bounty and discovered that the paper bag had this on it.

WHAT TYPE OF ORGANIC, HIPPIE, PAGAN-PUNKS ARE YOU???

Grammar, people! Grammar!

Now, I may be a crass and unapologetic bitch who has a penchant for deconstructing language. However, I only endorse it when it makes sense, not when it is done out of complete stupidity.

One thing I have found to be common on blogs is people saying "flavourful." Now, let me demonstrate how WRONG this word is. (if you want to enlarge to see the red dotted/zig-zaggy lines, just click on the image to enlarge...obviously)



Ok, firstly Blogspot itself has something against the word.


Is it no surprise that Microsoft Word 2006 hates it?
Hell no!


Hmm, Gmail doesn't like it either.


Now, no surprises, but I don't have an English dictionary, but I can assure you it won't be in there. The German's don't believe in the word either. Now, as you can see, it is blurry enough, but I attempted to demonstrate how the Swedish and French don't believe in the word either.
And, thus, if the Swedes don't have a word for it, neither do the Norwegians or Danish.

So, why the hell do we put up with it?

Just to clear things up, the word is FLAVOURSOME. And I will not succumb to Americanised spelling. There IS a "U" in the word Flavour!

I also hate when people put "s" on the end of words that don't require it. Like...sheep. SHEEP IS PLURAL, there are no fucking sheepS! Also, there are no FISHES.

Speaking of fish, someone attempted to tell me that boogly eyed fish and what not are all bred that way from people wanting entertaining fish to look at, and that they're just all goldfish that have inbred, like incest babies.



Now, I have wikied it, and seeing as there are different varieties, they can't possibly be inbred fish, or perhaps I am mistaken. I am not a marine biologist.

Can anyone clear that one up for me?