Oh yeah, and I also bought asparagus.

So, I handed in my last 12,000 words yesterday and celebrated by not exercising, drinking beer and making dinner for the boys and I. I bought three bunches of asparagus at the market and used one of them last night.

Here is how I used the other:


First, broad beans. In their full, unstripped glory.


Then, I took a bunch of asparagus, removed the woody parts, blanched them in boiling water for 60 seconds and refreshed them in iced water.


I did the same to the pods of the broad beans and they sexed it up with the asparagus.


After they chilled, I took of the outer layer from the broad beans. The clothes are in the front and the kids are in the back.


That got set aside and I made a hollandaise with three egg yolks, melted butter, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Oh, who needs a double boiler when you have a giant-ass bowl?
Note to self; tea towels, need to buy more...need to wash some.


And then I put it all together after poaching a few eggs, toasting a few slices of Irrawarra bread and getting my shit together.



And that, kids, is how you do a lazy brunch. Best eaten out the front, in the sun using crates as tables and on the olive couches.

Special Edition Brunch Bash 2008

Actually, it wasn't that amazing, but the reason why it has the "2008" attached to it is because of how special edition I was.

Special edition= nice way of saying stupidly hung over...over hung and under moist.

I'll stop.

But, you know your friend loves you when you stumble home and ask them to make sure you don't fall asleep in the shower after walking around town in a bra as a top and they end up sticking their fingers down your throat. You see, apparently you were suffering a little too much in the way of spinning rooms and lack of food and they thought the only way to rectify that would be to press the eject button next to your tonsils.

I'll stop there.

But, apparently, after naked vomiting, there was stupid laughter coming from you. Yep, still drunk.

So, in the afternoon, when you looked outside and saw that it was an amazing day where the trees were singing and the birds were swaying, and you felt a little empty, you decide to cook a Brunch/Linner for your friend, housemate and yourself. You just had to make do of your ingredients.

However, unlike your counterparts, you swapped the second espresso for a beer and a couple of Advil. Goddamn, that dog was hairy.

Silverbeet
1/2 bunch of silverbeet, ribs diced, leaves sliced in 1 inch thickness
1/2 clove elephant garlic, minced
salt
1/2 lemon

Wash the silverbeet very well, and fry the ribs first in a medium heat pan, salt generously and add the garlic. Add the sliced leaves and add a few drops of water. Cover to steam and when it is ready, squeeze lemon juice over before serving.

Pathetic guacamole
1 avocado
1/2 spanish onion, diced
1/2 clove garlic, diced
tobasco
salt
pepper
lemon juice

Dice the avocado and combine well with the onion and garlic, mashing the avocado slightly but not turning it into mush. Season with tobasco, salt, pepper and lemon juice to taste.

Mushroom, Leek business
1 large leek, washed and sliced, white part only
200g mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1 elephant garlic clove, minced
salt
pepper
balsamic vinegar

In a pan on medium heat, add a generous splash of oil and start cooking the mushrooms, when they start to sweat, add the garlic and leek, salting slightly and adding a generous amount of pepper. When everything is a minute from being ready, add a glug of balsamic vinegar and allow the vinegar to cook off and caramelise.

I served this all on some decent bread, toasted with the guacamole on top, with a poached organic egg. The silverbeet and the mushroom/leek thing was on the side.

It is preferable if you have 3 sets of newspapers, a balcony and good company on a 25 degree day.